I have just started seeing a therapist to help with my depression, possible BPD, and the other conditions I have developed as a result of the abuse.
I havent seen a therapist for a long time so right now we are exploring which avenue might be the best one for me to carry on long term..
Initially, I was as opposed to seeing a therapist as an elephant in a cage, but there is a fighter spirit in me that doesnt let me give up. I want to get better. I want to live healthy and happy again. So, despite my previous, unsuccessful attempts with a load of different therapists/therapies, I have started again. Hopefully, this time will be the last time!
Because the abuse took place over so many years, it is extremely hard to separate and spotlight it and say, this is a one time event, lets deal with it and move on. No, it has shaped my entire character and personality and the way I react to events.
Because the coping mechanisms I developed from such a young age are so deeply rooted within my subconscious, my reactions to ‘normal’ stresses such as financial worries, being let down, confrontation etc are heightened, sometimes to a disabling extent.
I have a lot of skills that I need to learn eg interpersonal relationships, distress level management etc but I will elaborate more on those as I go along.