Going through Hell

I went to visit her yesterday.

She stared right through me. She cried but no tears fell.

”They took away my dignity. They locked me up in a small room. No bed, no food, no blanket. They took all my clothes away. I was completely naked. And freezing because they put the air conditioning on full blast. They injected me with sedatives. For six hours I lay on the cold, hard floor, trying to cover myself up with my arms. I couldn’t breathe. Im going through hell.”

Holding back the wave of pain that threatened to engulf me I hugged her tight and told her:

”Your dignity is up here,” I put my hand on her forehead, ‘and here,’ I pointed to her heart.”Nobody can take that away from you. 

 You’re my sister. and I love you with every inch of my heart. That will never change.” I held her hand and stroked her flushed cheek. ” your heart is a muscle, I said, quoting a film I had just watched ”The more you exercise it, the stronger it gets. Take the pain and think of it as building blocks. you are so strong and so brave and I love you so much. 

I don’t know what is worse; going through hell, or watching someone you love go through it. Its like a double dose of trauma.

 Im still crying.

 

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